Sunday, April 13, 2014

Visiting Heaven's Throne Room - Part 3



So what about my visit to Heaven? 

Well, that happened in 1991 just a few weeks before my 21st birthday. I was 20 years old and home in Texas visiting my parents for the summer while on summer break from SDSU. Let me explain what had happened in my life a bit during that time first.

My initial two years at SDSU had proven to be a huge time of spiritual growth for me. I had gotten involved with the most incredible group of people through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship at State as well as a wonderful church home at Holy Life Tabernacle. During my first year at State, I had decided to get water baptized as an adult even though I had been christened as a baby. I wanted to declare my own testimony of salvation which had occurred when I was 8 years old at a vacation Bible school. Coincidentially (or not!), Dave DeWispelaere also got baptized in the indoor pool at the Staurolite Hotel in Brookings, South Dakota by Holy Life’s pastor Dave Kaufman. Yes, I do think that it’s cool that my husband and I got baptized the very same day in the very same ceremony! ;-) Looking back at that, I just smile at what God must have been thinking while orchestrating that!

 That year I also experienced the Baptism of the Holy Spirit which completely turned my world upside down. I understood the Bible in ways I never knew I could. I learned to pray. I mean, REALLY pray! I grew spiritually and emotionally by leaps and bounds and I devoured everything I could about growing in relationship with Jesus. I was becoming what everyone called a Jesus freak and I didn’t care one little bit! 

My parents thought I had gone off the deep end or joined a cult or some other stupid thing. It took them awhile (okay, maybe a few years) but they realized it wasn’t a phase and eventually got used to me talking about Jesus, going to church and Bible study, and seeing the world a bit differently from everyone else they knew.  My parents are Lutheran by background and while they sent us kids to VBS in the summer, church was not a regular part of our growing up until my teenage years when my dad decided we should go again (and that’s a long, hairy story I won’t talk about here). I got “confirmed” in the Lutheran church at 16. But all being said, I didn’t not come from a religious family so anyone talking about Jesus on a regular basis (except for taking the name in vain, of course) was considered a bit weird. 

During my second year at State, I got reconnected with an old boyfriend who was in the Navy at the time. He was someone I had met in high school and fell deeply in love with. He was my high school sweetheart. When I moved to South Dakota to live and attend State, I had lost touch with him. But our reconnection brought back everything and we started “dating” again long distance while he was stationed in Japan. 

Our relationship was completely by mail and tape (yes, I said tape…those old cassette tapes…please don’t remind me how old I really am – still in denial!). I was head-over-heels in love with him again and he declared to me in his letters and tapes that he couldn’t wait until he came home from overseas so we could get married and start our life together. It was a wonderful time of feeling in love again which I hadn’t experienced since I started college…and I guess I really needed it at the time. As a result, I completely ignored all the “checks” in my spirit (the Holy Spirit prompting me) to stop the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. But I didn’t. I was sucked in and I didn’t want to let the relationship go.

It goes to show that God really does know what’s going on and really will tell us to stop something when He knows it’s not good for us. But, you know, WE have to listen. And well, I didn’t. Yes, I know!  Call everyone you know and let them know Angela messed up big time…because I did! Without going into details about my relationship with this guy (I’ll save it for the book that I’ll write someday), I’ll just say that God really was trying to save my heart by telling me to call it off. But I didn’t. But God’s grace is amazing…and that’s what led to my brief journey to Heaven.

I found out some news about my boyfriend just before Spring break during my sophomore year at State that shook my heart and devastated my world. At the same time, I found out that my boyfriend was being discharged from the Navy and would be back in Texas when I returned to work and visit my parents over the summer. My final few weeks at State were horrific because the news about my boyfriend so devastated and humiliated me that I just felt like I couldn’t share it with anyone. I was dying inside. It was a slow emotional death and I had no one to turn to who really understood what I was going through. When I returned to Texas at the end of May after InterVarsity chapter camp in Colorado, I found myself hurt, alone, and feeling like I must have really disappointed God for ignoring his promptings. 

I saw my ex-boyfriend a few times right after I returned to Texas. And it was horrible! The circumstances surrounding those encounters with him threw me into a depression. But for the sake of my family and friends, I did a lot of great acting and put on a smile and tried to move on. One night, in late June of 1991, I broke. Certain circumstances kept reminding me about my ex-boyfriend’s betrayal and I felt like I had descended into a deep pit of despair that I couldn’t see my way out of. I was alone. There was no one that I could share my heart with, no one who would understand. So I called out to Jesus to take me home. It was the most desperate and sincere prayer I’ve ever prayed in my life. 

“Jesus, I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want to come home.”

That prayer was answered that night. 

It was 10:10 p.m. 

I was lying in my bedroom in my parent’s home in Burleson. I was crying. And I continued my prayer in quiet whispers, “Lord Jesus, just take me home. Just take me home.”

In the corner, out of the shadows of my room I saw Jesus walk to the foot of my bed as I felt my spirit leave my body. I had been laying face down on my pillow but instantly I was out of my body and looking at Jesus. 

The few people I’ve told ask me what Jesus looked like. For me, the closest representation has been reproductions by Ray Downing who used computer analysis to recreate the face of Jesus from the Shroud of Turin. The two pictures that most look like him to me are the “Jesus Wept” and “I am the Way” pictures that he’s made available on his website. I’ll post them here and give you a link if you want. Also, Colton Burpo’s image from the Prince of Peace by Akiane is fairly close too – the facial expression is more exact but the hair is different there from what I remember. But honestly, to tell you the truth, I didn’t stand there and analyze Jesus and what he looked like. I just knew it was him. He was my best friend. And in that moment, my only friend that knew what I was going through. And he was there with me.



I turned around to look at my body after that. Jesus came behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. In that moment, we were no longer in my bedroom. We were instantly (I mean nanoseconds here!) in the throneroom of Heaven.

The colors were brilliant and overwhelmingly clear and crisp. I could see the base of the throne of God and a river flowing underneath and out from the throne. In that moment, I felt the Father God’s presence and I closed my eyes, raised my hands, and started to sing a song that I’ve only sung at that very moment. It was completely unprompted and heartfelt and original…not a song I’ve heard or ever sung again this side of Heaven. I wrote the lyrics in my journal that night after I returned. For now, I will keep that to myself. It was my own heartfelt praise to God and I feel He deserves to have that himself. I don’t want to share that right now.

In the moment I started singing the song, I felt what I described to others as liquid love flowing on top of me and through me. I knew the liquid love was from the river flowing from God’s throne but it felt to me that it was coming directly from Father God himself. In that moment, I felt complete Love. There’s no other way to describe it. Soon I felt covered from the liquid love and I felt enraptured in God’s love and I felt it pouring back out from me toward God in my worship toward Him.

And then I felt a pulling. And I felt Jesus’ presence from my side disappear.

I felt my spirit descend into my body. And I opened my eyes as I was singing the same song that I was worship God with in Heaven. I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. It was 10:20 p.m. I was gone for 10 minutes.

That night I wrote the lyrics in my journal. And I felt restored and alive in a way that I’ve never felt before. Those 10 minutes changed me…forever.

When I shared this experience with my husband Dave a few weeks ago, I told him one of the most significant things I remember from being in Heaven was the “feeling” of not having sin. Yes, I mean that I felt an absence of sin. I haven’t felt that before or since that experience. To this day, the feeling of liquid love along with the experience of sinlessness was THE MOST REAL thing I’ve experienced in my existence. There is nothing more significant or powerful as the combination of feeling completely loved and completely free.

It took me nine years of marriage to tell Dave my experience. It’s been 22 years since it happened but I can recall those moments as if they just happened this morning. 

I don’t know why I’m sharing it now. Maybe it’s because I’ve found courage from a little boy would didn’t have the filters to know to hide what he experienced from others. 

Or maybe it’s just the right time for me to start talking about these things. Only God knows who will find these words and how it will affect them. 

I’ve just described three events that I had in my life in regards to seeing and experiencing the spiritual realm. The truth is, I started experiencing things of this nature when I was 18 years old. This was only three events out of countless others. Many of them are not as pleasant but just as real and significant to my growth as a spirit and as a human being. Maybe I’ll share those experiences at another time. 

But I don’t want to leave you without some additional words. I don’t know why God answered that prayer or allowed me to experience some of the events that I’ve experienced. I know that God does not play favorites. But I do know that maybe God entrusts certain things to certain people knowing that in His time, they would become a part of His eternal plan. My prayer today is that my testimony today would open up your heart to experience Jesus. Maybe you’ve never even wanted to experience a relationship with Jesus. Or maybe you’ve walked with him your entire life (like my husband) and wonder why experiences like this don’t happen to you. I don’t currently have enough revelation from God to answer questions like that. But I do know that God’s desire is for all of us to come to a saving knowledge of Him and to learn to walk with Him, grow with Him, and experience His victory in our lives. I hope these words will encourage you to experience more of Jesus through His Word. Start by reading the New Testament…or even watching a video on Jesus. I’ll place some of my favorite recommendations in my resources below. 

For now, I leave you with these thoughts. 

God knows you and loves you which is why He sent Jesus. Call upon Him. He will listen because He seeks after you and desires a relationship with you. He will change your life. He changed my life…and continues to do so every single day.

12'Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14'I will be found by you,' declares the LORD. – Jeremiah 29:12-13.

RESOURCES:


If you want more resources, email me. 


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